HEART BREAK RULES: Story Time- FORBIDDEN LOVE?
Hello lovely people, How are you this fine morning? Or afternoon? Or evening? Or whatever time you are reading this blog post in the course of your day…
So I haven’t gotten many heart break story responses since my last post and I think I figured out why… You see, when you give your heart to someone, you are giving them not just that but also your trust and when they break it, they break your trust as well. This leads, in turn, to you never wanting your heart to be broken, which leads to you trusting less and less, leading to you hating the very thought of being vulnerable.
So it makes it even harder to share your story. This is just what I have observed from my few years on this earth. Don’t just write it off, because it is true. Anyway today I will just share briefly two relationship stories that I personally watched play out before me last year that didn’t end the way you think they would have.
There was a girl I met last year during my DTS who had been through a whole lot. Her life story is one that wouldn’t leave a dry eye in the room, but that is a story for another day. We shall give her the name Sky -just for fun-
Sky and I at first were not the closest of friends because I could not, for the life of me, understand her! She was a very strong character, and was one of those loud personalities that are not afraid to speak their mind, no matter who is in the room or what the consequences might be. So for someone like me who always thinks about how a person is going to react before I say anything, that was umm very different.
We did get to spend a lot of time together though, which helped me to get to understand and love her more.
Now on the other hand, there was this guy, we can call him Josh. Josh was a leader, he also became like a brother to me. He is one of those guys who talk a whole lot when you are one on one, but is more silent in a crowd. He had his flaws but he is one of the coolest guys I know because he genuinely loves!
-you by now probably know where this is going but back to our story-
Josh and Sky started talking, and they continued talking, and talking, and did I mention talking? 😛 Causing a budding romance between the two of them. It was a classic ‘boy likes girl, girl likes boy’ situation, but there was one hitch.
It was not allowed.
The rules of DTS state that during the period of your 6months there you cannot date because you are supposed to be focused on building your relationship with God, and especially no dating between a leader and a student. So it was a modern day-not as dramatic- case of Romeo and Juliet 😉
Sky and Josh told us they were praying about it and even got us involved, because they were my friends I supported them all the way, even when they decided to start a relationship; but forbidden love does have consequences. There were people in the team who were not happy about their relationship because it broke the rules. They believed it would be a distraction us working as a team to do ministry. Whether it was the cause of distrust and division leading to having to pick a side in our team I will never know for certain, but we did have issues amongst each other and we ended up leaving the mission field early.
By the time we went back to the base, we had to go through a few conflict resolution sessions to resolve our ‘team issues’. Josh and Sky both apologized 100 times individually and said if they had thought before that their relationship would lead to all the events that took place they would not have started it but still there was a lot of blame game going on.
In my head, besides all the drama that was going on I forgave them and knew it was worth it. It’s okay since they were still going to end up together. Josh would tell me how he knew she was the one and talk like he loved her fiercely. They would have conversations about how when she went back home they were going to keep a long distance relationship. Sky made Josh promise that no matter what he would not break up with her.
DTS soon ended and they had to say their goodbyes, on a sad but ‘don’t worry we are going to skype every day and see each other in a year’ note.
Josh was even talking to me about proposal ideas, and how he was going to go to the country where Sky lived and surprise her. Maybe even live there. I mean literally uproot his whole life for her.
This is the part where they lived happily ever after, right?
Well, wrong. Less than two months after the physical separation Sky broke up with Josh. What happened was when she went back home there was a lot of things going on in her life ‘I told you she has a complicated past’ and she felt like Josh was not being there for her.
Josh on the other hand, had a lot of things happen within his family at that time as well, so as much as he wanted to be there for Sky he was overwhelmed with his own issues.
It broke his heart when she broke up with him, especially after she had made him promise to never break up with her. The worst thing is that while they were breaking up they abused each other and said things they would both regret, leaving them on non-speaking terms.
It was a reflection of humanity; Or rather the brokenness of humanity that I keep talking about… What is most frustrating is that after everything the team went through for the sake of their relationship, the least they could have done was gotten married lol; but that is not how the world works.
I personally would never want to experience that myself, which is why I am grateful to have seen the messiness unfold. It is a lesson.
1. Don’t make promises you cannot keep
2. If you are going to do love, do it the right way. Don’t rush into it, protect your heart and actually PRAY!
3. Understand how your relationships affect others. Love is not selfish or self-centred. It is actually the most servants’ like attribute because at ALL times you should be thinking about what is best for the other person.
Today, Sky and Josh are both doing well individually. I’ve kept in touch with both of them and the beauty of life is that our mistakes do not define us, and I can honestly see God is doing amazing things in both their lives. 😀
Okay, so because this story has taken way too much space, I will save the second one for my next blog post… Again feel free to share with me how you feel, I love reading your comments, inboxes etc.
P.s Exams start next week *fingers crossed* prayers greatly appreciated! 😛