HEART BREAK RULES…
HELLO HUMAN BEING
My heart was broken.
Okay I am being melodramatic. My heart was not broken, it was like barely even bruised but it was scratched. So Recently I had this thing where I really liked a guy. He showed all the right signs, like we would talk for hours on the phone, he told me things that made me feel amazing about myself. He was hot, lol loves Jesus and I just felt like we really clicked.
Now let me explain something about myself, I don’t like guys easily but when I do it’s the most frustrating thing in the universe because i give a lot it is so time consuming and emotionally draining.
So with this guy I invested a lot of myself into him for the short period of time that we were talking because I thought this actually has potential. This could go somewhere.
He stopped texting, calling or seeming interested. I am not the type who will keep texting or bugging you if you don’t seem interested because I will not look desperate but truth be told this made me shuku (doubt) myself. Like did I say something wrong? Did I act immaturely at some point? Does he just think I’m ugly now? Or found something better? What’s going on here?
I was talking to a girlfriend the other day and she told me something similar happened to her. It helped so much. So I have two things to tell the guys out there.
1. DO NOT lead a girl on if you are not interested in pursuing her until the end. Girls are wired differently than guys and we are more emotional which is why you have to be careful with your words, your body language, and the general way you treat her.
2. DTR!!!!! Define The Relationship! I cannot stress this enough! I was talking to a friend of mine who is like a big brother the other day, and he was telling me how guys can be cowards in that they never really tell you what they want. It’s like playing a game of hopscotch, jumping from box to box with one foot, never really settling down in one and deciding this is what it is. I am not being feminist, or biased, I am just stating facts.
Men were created to be the chasers, or leaders. It is literally your God-given responsibility to make the first move. So when you leave a girl hanging in mid air, it’s like what the hell dude?? *mind my language*
Now I know girls sometimes we do the same thing. Recently another guy shared his feelings for me, and because I hate confrontation it was the hardest thing for me to tell him I don’t feel the same way, especially because he is an amazing guy, but we had the DTR conversation and I told him. Now I am so glad I did because it’s so much better than me saying I don’t know or let me think about it and stuff while I let him buy me things, or treat me like he would a girlfriend when I know how I feel.
So before I go on and on let me just say this is just from personal observation and opinion, it is also free advice. Guys, girls are attracted to guys who are committed. Men who know what they want and are not just playing around. Take it or leave it, that’s the truth as I see it.
Now for me the decision that this situationship led me to decide was that I have set a specific amount of time in which I have promised myself I am not going to date. I’m not even going to look for the one. After I made that decision I went to bed, slept and I woke up the next morning feeling so relieved, like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
This is probably because I don’t have to look at every guy I meet or am friends with and think, ‘could he be the one?’ points in different direction ‘wait could he be the one?’ points in different location ‘oh hold up, maybe he is the one?’ Why lie? At this stage in our lives, that is something we girls do a whole lot. Look at the possibilities, have a list of pros and cons in our head, and envision our future with or without that person.
It does feel nice though, I feel like because I know in my head that I am not dating anyone for some time, and that means guys are not going to play around with my feelings because I know it’s not going anywhere and it’s like the power is now in my hands! Mwahahaha! 😛
So I think I am going to do a series on actual HEART BREAK because mine was just a Heart scratch hehehe. So if you have any stories you want to share with me, please feel free. 🙂
Love you guys and cheerio for now.
- Posted in: Relationships