Real-ationships: Gurrl-friends

Happy Sunday ya’al! πŸ™‚
So this won’t be a very long post because again I have school work like crazy to do, also I have exciting news will share at the end of the post πŸ˜‰
Okay, so I started this theme Real-ationships without really explaining what it’s all about. So basically I was going to do the month of Feb as boy-girl issues/drama/blablabla then my friend sent me this inbox on FB

Shingaiii…. like in my room… no power but i was reading your blogs.. and ommg.. i raff them! Lol.. so..for your next blog.. or the few next to come..or whenever you can do it.. i really would like you to maybe talk about friends… I just want to know your opinion on them.. because lately I’ve been really struggling with friends. I feel like I cant trust anyone.. Lol And then I left my old school so like I miss my friends there soo much. And i literally fear losing touch with everyone Then there’s also fights with friends.. for example me and one friend of mine are not on speaking terms.. and basically I think it all started with mis-communication.. and its shocking how that ruins a friendship… and even though he is just a friend.. anytime someone says something to disappoint you or is just plain right bitchy towards you -excuse my language..- honestly it hurts.. because friends also hurt you and leave scars.. and those scars sometimes lead up to insecurity. Somehow i think it kind of adds up to the insecurities thing.. because without people/friends.. would we really be insecure.. we wont have anyone to compare to.. we wont need to feel judge.. then again with friends.. there the good things.. of some of them being there for you and all.. people to make you laugh.. people to just complete your being.. (boyfriends and all) The world would be so weird if we had no friends/family/people in general
So I edited it for privacy purposes but basically what I want to do by showing you the inbox is make you realize that relationships isn’t just about the opposite gender, sometimes we have issues with those closest to us in other areas. I will start -since I am a girl- πŸ˜› by talking about girl drama, for the guys keep reading, these things could help you in future πŸ˜›
Okay so sometime last week I was walking somewhere with my friend and on our way home we saw this gorgeous lady! ( as a girl am allowed to say that without having to say ‘no homo’ right? lol) Β So as we see this lady, my friend and I have a really interesting conversation about how sometimes you see people and feel like ” why the heck am I even alive?!” hehehe ironic after all my #fightinginsecurities right? Well at least am being honest, but -yes, there’s a but- I’ve been reading this really interesting book and I got a few principles from it. 1. Stop Making Comparisons! When one guy was asked how he knows a girl is insecure, he said he noticed when girls do this this thing of sizing each other up. Why lie ladies, this sadly happens to be true a lot of the time. We have this mindset that we can’t add value to another person without subtracting value from ourselves. When we work with that God-given dignity I keep talking about then we need to learn that, “We can totally think another person is beautiful without thinking we are ugly, we can acknowledge another lady as smart without feeling like an idiot, we can admire another’s terrific shape without feeling like a slob, and we can say “wow, omg she is soo talented!” without feeling like we have no purpose on earth. So my advice, Let’s stop! And I’m talking to myself too. The next line is very serious and read it slowly if you have to!
Girls how long will we post selfies with the cleav-age and yadayada to see how many likes we can get to prove to ourselves that we are prettier than ‘she’ is πŸ™‚ read this with love. To understand your self worth is to not link it to anyone else.
2. We need our Gurrl-friends! So there’s been this whole thing about girls saying, “I prefer hanging out with guys because they have less drama.” Okay hold up for a sec, I am not going to argue with you. Yes, guys appear to have less issues than we do but have you seen how different we are? Guys have the ‘yo bro I hate you.’ ‘yo, bro I hate you too’ moments and then be totally cool (again dudes tell me if I am misrepresenting you :P) but that isn’t how, as ladies, we were designed to handle issues. Now look past the drama, think of the friends in your life. Think of the good things that you and your girlfriends have been through the things you have talked about that you can’t really tell a guy. Like how you’re confused about something in your life, planning for the future- Β I bet we’ve all had those, me and my best friends are gonna live together when we grow up moments- and just stuff like that. Let me be 100% honest I love my guy friends but I need my Gurrl-friends!!! When I think about the future I can’t picture them Not baby sitting my kids, and having phone calls about how irritated we are feeling at everything lol and stupid stuff like that.Β 
3. Know when to let go! Okay so this is hard especially for me, because I think I am kind of a people pleaser, but I am learning. Sometimes, sadly, there are people in our lives who are not beneficial in anyway. Examples of this are the insecure friends who degrade our self worth to feel better about themselves. Or the immature friend who, besides refusing to grow up wants you to stay as immature as them. Or the friend who always makes you do things you would never think of doing when your by yourself. #truthbetold the whole peer pressure lecture we have been given a countless times has some truth to it. Whether we like it or not, the type of friends we have influence who we are, so if who you are around a friend is a world apart from the person you want to become, then you know its time to let go :/ because again you are worth so much more than for you not to become who you want to become because of someone else.
Finally ya’al if we support one another, make this your own personal goal we could be the generation that actually loves each other instead of hating on each other. Idk maybe am being really feminist or whatever lol but that’s just how I see it ❀

So much for a short post πŸ˜› If you have read until the end thank you so much and your the best! Comments? feedback, let me know what you think πŸ™‚ and you can follow the blog thanks! Now on to the exciting news, there may be a spoken word event thingy coming up soon under Perrfect Imperrfections… How cool is that?! Yea, so right now it’s kinda sketchy but I will let you know the details soon. If you are a writer let me know πŸ™‚ Be blessed ya’al!Β  Β  Β  Oh P.s love this song…



  1. Omg, Shingai I love this ❀ ❀


  2. Hehehe thank you darling! #ubdainspiration πŸ˜€


  3. WOW!!! #speechless…


  4. Love it, and i got to learn from my lil Cousin especially about friends and all, i am at that point after relocating to a new country i am meeting new people many will come and go (wont clik or get along) and then there is the few who will stik around for a very long time (genuine friends),,thank you for the tips well explained.xoxo


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